I'm all a-Twitter

File this one under "Not exactly new, but new to me."

Twitter is a system designed to let the world know what you're doing at any given moment, through IM, SMS or via the website. It's the kind of thing that would normally elicit a "Hm. That's cool I guess" from me before I moved on. But it occurs to me that there are lots of little updates that never make it to my blog simply because I don't want to clutter up my front page. Via Twitter's nifty flash badge, I can now put them on my sidebar. The system is meant as a social networking thing, since you can have it send you updates via IM or SMS about what your friends are doing. That part doesn't interest me so much, but the idea of mini-posts from my phone does.

Things

Ok, I know my sidebar's looking like a freaking LameSpace page, but it's temporary. I just found some cool toys and I'm too tired to mess with them any more tonight. So for now, they stay. (Try the chat-a-ma-thing...sometimes it works, sometimes not....it's in beta.)
[Update: I took down the chat-a-ma-thing. It's a neat idea, but it doesn't work reliably enough. Maybe they'll work out the bugs soon.]

Art!

It feels like trading brains with an imbecile, for real.

So Incubus just happened to say into my ear, and I think they're right.  Watching "Lady in the Water" is like trading brains with an imbecile.  An imbecile that thought this might be a good movie.  It is not good, and I'm glad to have my own brain back to tell me so.  

The conversation I had with this movie went something like this (This is basically an outline of the whole movie.  So this is your "spoiler alert," though I don't think it's possible to spoil this movie.):

Movie: Hey wouldn't it be cool if an Asian myth came to life in a modern apartment complex?

Me:  Yes, in theory, that would be cool.  Please continue.

Movie:  Ok, so there's this 'water spirit' chick who lives in an underwater room at the bottom of the pool.  The landlord guy finds her and she lives in his apartment for a while and doesn't wear pants.

Me:  Um...I--well, ok.  Go on.

Movie:  So this water girl needs to find this writer who's going to write a book that'll change the world.  Oh, and this writer is actually played by the director of the movie.

Me:  That's annoying.  So why does she need to find him?  Sounds like he's doing just fine.

Movie:  I don't know.  She just does.  Anyway, once she finds him she has to get home, back to the water.  Except there's this grass-wolf that lives outside and he's going to try to kill her when she comes back to the pool.  Normally he wouldn't be able to, because the justice-monkeys won't allow it, but this time he doesn't care because the water girl is really a water queen.  She just doesn't know it.

Me:  I see.  Sounds like quite the dilemma.

Movie:  Oh, it is, it is.  Luckily, there's this old Chinese lady who knows about the myth and her daughter translates for the landlord and he figures out that he needs some pot smokers and a guy who likes crossword puzzles to get the water girl back to the pool.

Me:  Um...you're losing me here.

Movie:  But wait!  There's a guy who only works out one side of his body so he has a huge arm and a huge leg and he's the guardian and as long as he stares at the grass-wolf-thing  it can't move and then the eagle comes and--

Me:  Ok, that's enough.

Movie:  But what about the Mexican sisters and the...the film critic gets eaten, and the--

Me:  I said that's enough.  Just stop it.


So, yeah.  I wouldn't recommend that movie to anyone.

300

It's a decent number. Some have called it The Greatest Number (though they were quickly silenced by the 301 Boyz). More importantly, however, it's the name of the film I saw yesterday afternoon. The film that I'd been looking forward to for nigh on six months. The film based on Frank Miller's graphic novel, which is a highly stylized version of the historical Battle of Thermopylae. Yes, that film.

So, after all the waiting, did I love it? Mayhap. In terms of visual presentation, it was superb. The backgrounds, the soldiers, the blood--everything looked like it had been painted. No, not painted. Inked. Especially the blood, and there was lots of it. The Spartans didn't wear armor in this movie, so when they got spear'd or arrow'd or sword'd, you saw the blade go in one side and out the other, in graphic detail. As Netty pointed out, though, the deliberate, dance-like choreography of the fights often took your attention away from the copious amounts of blood. The swinging of the sword and shield tended to be more visually captivating than the gutting and dismemberment. And then there was Xerxes, the Persian "god-king," who was portrayed as some kind of weird sexually-deviant giant. I dug it, if only because I've never seen a 'bad guy' quite like him (though I did get a bit of a Ra vibe from him, a la Stargate--not that there's anything wrong with that).

And now, having said all that (and there's much more I could say here), I've decided that I did love it. In fact, I think I'd enjoy it more the second time around, since I know that...well, I won't spoil it for you. I'll put it this way: now that I know how the film handled the historical aspects of the story, which I was wondering about most of the way through, my second viewing could dismiss that and I could simply look at this film again. I may just do that.

At last...

...the universe is complete. Or at least my new gaming board is. I made it to play Star Wars Starship Battles on, and I'm quite pleased with the way it turned out. I may post more nonblurry pics later, but I just spent the last three hours finishing it up, and then I lost an hour to that damnable daylight savings conspiracy, so for now, I sleep.

I get along with HBO.

HBO is alright.  They've done good things for me.  Band of Brothers is the definitive WWII production.  Rome is, for lack of a better term, eximius.  And Curb Your Enthusiasm is generally pretty hilarious.  I never really got into that whole Sopranos thing, but whatever.  

My point in all of this blathering is that I'm hoping HBO will continue its trend of entertaining me with Preacher, which is finishing up its pilot right now.  It's a comic book, which is a strike against it considering the seemingly endless stream of poorly-adapted comic filth that's been running through theaters for the past few years (I'd list them, but you know the ones I mean).  Yet movies like Batman Begins, Sin City, and Hellboy have proven that it can be done right.  

And, come on.  Look at this description:

Preacher centers on a Texas holy man named Jesse Custer, who is possessed by a supernatural entity that is half angel and half demon. Given immense powers, Jesse sets out on a journey to find God—who has fled from heaven—and hold him accountable for his actions.  (SciFi Wire).

How can that not be good?  I mean, he's hunting God.  Do I have to spell out for you just how cool that is?  Do you need me to draw you a map to Awesome?  Because I could do it, and let me tell you: the path from here to Awesome leads right through God-hunting Preacher Land.

Ah, but there's a catch.  Of course.  The guy doing it is the guy who just finished Ghost Rider.  Now, I admit there's not much I can say about that movie, having not seen it, but it looks like it's a guy with his head on fire, riding a motorcycle around for a couple of hours, and all the reviews I've read have pretty much confirmed that.

And so, we're back where we started on this little blogventure: HBO. They've done me proud in the past.  Let's just hope they've made the right choice here.

It's a hat!

So, I ordered a pita a while ago (through Campusfood.com), and I wanted a cookie with it. I specifically wanted chocolate chip, but in case they didn't have any, I added this note to the order:

"If you don't have chocolate chip, then surprise me (with another cookie, I mean. Not like a puppy, or anything--I'm not looking for a huge surprise.)."

And this is what I found in the bag when my order got here a few minutes ago:


Spiffy.

I don't smile a lot...

...but I did just now when I saw that The Empire Strikes Back is on HBO.  Seeing the original trilogy takes me back to the old days of watching them on the USA Network, back before I had my own copies.  Ah, memories.

For your consideration

 Japan said, "You know what's wrong with couches?  They're too comfortable."

Thus was born the futon.

Company of Heroes review'd!

[This was intended as a write-up for the "+ List" but it ended up being way too long, so I'm putting it here.]


For the first few minutes, this game basically looked like Dawn of War with a WWII reskin job (not surprising considering it's coming from the same duo as DoW: Relic develops, THQ publishes), but after playing through the single-player campaign, I've found that there's a lot more depth here: intelligent use of cover, completely destructable environments, three distinct advancement trees (Infantry, Airborne, or Armor), and the constant struggle to keep supply lines open. The ability to put up sandbags, razor wire, tank traps, and other defensive measures means that when you take a position, you can really dig in and hold it. At least that's how I play.

It also seems more true to life (and yes, I'm basing this off of my experiences in 'Nam)--you can't just waltz into the enemy camp and start shooting up the place. As fun as DoW is, success in that game does tend to boil down to developing your technology until you have tanks, and then just driving in and killing everything you see. CoH (yes, these acronyms get tedious, don't they?) does offer that option, if you want to use the Armor approach, but gives you more subtle options as well--I like sending in a couple of snipers to spot for me, and then blowing the bejeezus out of enemy positions with artillery strikes.  Subtle, like I said. 

Plus, it has all the obvious improvments--better graphics (by far--this game eats my compy's lunch at full settings), better AI, etc. The one thing it's missing is a cinematic mode (a la Empire at War) that lets you watch a battle after you give your orders. A game this pretty should really show itself off.

My score: 9.7/10

Will Write for Money

Specifically, I need $149,998.  Seriously, I'll write anything you want.  Just give me the money to buy this:



(As a side note, I will also play video games for money, if anyone's interested in that particular service.  I'm a jack of all asses--uh, I mean trades.)

I beat zelda! Wii!

Oh, Pan's Labyrinth....

...how I wish to see thee. We're going to see Children of Men on Friday, which I'm really looking forward to (really), but if I had to choose between that and Pan's Labyrinth, I'm thinking I'd rock the Labyrinth. But I can't, because it still only has a limited release (I assume, just because it's a Spanish-language film). So, if you live in a city where it's playing, please go see it 7 or more times, and encourage your friends and family to do the same. We need to convince Warner Bros. to give it a full release. Please. Do it for the children. The children who shouldn't be at an R-rated film in the first place, and whose parents will be annoyingly reading the subtitles to them. On second thought, screw the children. Let's just do this one for me.
[Update: I just checked the website, and it says the film is "Opening in even more theaters this Friday, January 26th.  Has my miracle already happened?]

Snow fort!

Bad title, (possibly) good movie.

Baz Luhrmann, you know?  (that one's for the Lyndo aficionados) 

In case you don't know:  Baz Luhrmann, director of the "Red Curtain Trilogy," which I call the "Red Curtain Duology," because Strictly Ballroom was so terrible.  But we'll forgive him for that, because Romeo + Juliet and Moulin Rouge were so good.

Now that we're all caught up...  The Baz is directing a new film for 2008 called, simply, Australia, a title so simple that it's completely meaningless.  But through the magic of iMDB, we can learn more than the Baz's title is willing to divulge, and then rank our interest in this film accordingly:

directed by the Baz...+10 points (would be more, but we haven't seen anything from him in a while, and I'm a skeptic)

starring Nicole Kidman...+1 point  (great actress, can apparently transform into anyone)

starring Hugh Jackman...+2 point (also a good actor, has adamantium claws)

features an Australian cattle drive... +2 points (because, you know, why not?)

features Japanese bombing of Australia in WWII... + 15 points (something I've never seen before and that I know nothing about)

Now, if we run the numbers through the Add-o-mo-tron, we can determine that our interest level is somewhere around 30 points.  30 out of what?  I don't know.  The Add-0-m0-tron can't do everything.  Yet.

l challenge you to a duel.

Michelle and I had a drawing competition today. I opened with "Bruce. American Hero," to which she responded with the lovable "Ccarl." As you can see, it started out as a friendly competition.

Things quickly took a more menacing turn when my "Chunk's Famous Zoo Balloonz" was met with Michelle's "Pirate Bee Saboteur."

My honor was now at stake, so I countered with "Wartoise, the War Tortoise."














Wartoise didn't last long against "Queen B." Ouch.

Finally, with the last of my fading strength, I drew my most potent weapon: Pitfall Harry.

It's about freaking time.

Ok, so they've been messing with me for the last 6 or so years with this Indiana Jones 4 business...we're making it...we're not...we can't agree on a script...etc, etc. And now the crap is finally over: according to indianajones.com, Indy 4 is going into production in June, with an expected release date of May 2008. Indy fans rejoice! I'll be running around bullwhipping Nazis like crazy in anticpation for the next year, just FYI.

Holiday How-to 2006

I know you've all been waiting for it, and here it is. 

For the Wii owners.

Click for some Wii humor.