So Incubus just happened to say into my ear, and I think they're right. Watching "Lady in the Water" is like trading brains with an imbecile. An imbecile that thought this might be a good movie. It is not good, and I'm glad to have my own brain back to tell me so.
The conversation I had with this movie went something like this (This is basically an outline of the whole movie. So this is your "spoiler alert," though I don't think it's possible to spoil this movie.):
Movie: Hey wouldn't it be cool if an Asian myth came to life in a modern apartment complex?
Me: Yes, in theory, that would be cool. Please continue.
Movie: Ok, so there's this 'water spirit' chick who lives in an underwater room at the bottom of the pool. The landlord guy finds her and she lives in his apartment for a while and doesn't wear pants.
Me: Um...I--well, ok. Go on.
Movie: So this water girl needs to find this writer who's going to write a book that'll change the world. Oh, and this writer is actually played by the director of the movie.
Me: That's annoying. So why does she need to find him? Sounds like he's doing just fine.
Movie: I don't know. She just does. Anyway, once she finds him she has to get home, back to the water. Except there's this grass-wolf that lives outside and he's going to try to kill her when she comes back to the pool. Normally he wouldn't be able to, because the justice-monkeys won't allow it, but this time he doesn't care because the water girl is really a water queen. She just doesn't know it.
Me: I see. Sounds like quite the dilemma.
Movie: Oh, it is, it is. Luckily, there's this old Chinese lady who knows about the myth and her daughter translates for the landlord and he figures out that he needs some pot smokers and a guy who likes crossword puzzles to get the water girl back to the pool.
Me: Um...you're losing me here.
Movie: But wait! There's a guy who only works out one side of his body so he has a huge arm and a huge leg and he's the guardian and as long as he stares at the grass-wolf-thing it can't move and then the eagle comes and--
Me: Ok, that's enough.
Movie: But what about the Mexican sisters and the...the film critic gets eaten, and the--
Me: I said that's enough. Just stop it.
So, yeah. I wouldn't recommend that movie to anyone.
13 years ago
1 comment:
Well, I guess I'll have to save my popcorn and Coke money for another time. I sounds like something a high schooler dreamed up in creative writing class. I'm allowed to say that because I used to be a high schooler dreaming up stupid stuff in creative writing class. Once in a while, I still dream up stupid stuff -- but I do have the good sense to not try to film it.
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