It feels like trading brains with an imbecile, for real.

So Incubus just happened to say into my ear, and I think they're right.  Watching "Lady in the Water" is like trading brains with an imbecile.  An imbecile that thought this might be a good movie.  It is not good, and I'm glad to have my own brain back to tell me so.  

The conversation I had with this movie went something like this (This is basically an outline of the whole movie.  So this is your "spoiler alert," though I don't think it's possible to spoil this movie.):

Movie: Hey wouldn't it be cool if an Asian myth came to life in a modern apartment complex?

Me:  Yes, in theory, that would be cool.  Please continue.

Movie:  Ok, so there's this 'water spirit' chick who lives in an underwater room at the bottom of the pool.  The landlord guy finds her and she lives in his apartment for a while and doesn't wear pants.

Me:  Um...I--well, ok.  Go on.

Movie:  So this water girl needs to find this writer who's going to write a book that'll change the world.  Oh, and this writer is actually played by the director of the movie.

Me:  That's annoying.  So why does she need to find him?  Sounds like he's doing just fine.

Movie:  I don't know.  She just does.  Anyway, once she finds him she has to get home, back to the water.  Except there's this grass-wolf that lives outside and he's going to try to kill her when she comes back to the pool.  Normally he wouldn't be able to, because the justice-monkeys won't allow it, but this time he doesn't care because the water girl is really a water queen.  She just doesn't know it.

Me:  I see.  Sounds like quite the dilemma.

Movie:  Oh, it is, it is.  Luckily, there's this old Chinese lady who knows about the myth and her daughter translates for the landlord and he figures out that he needs some pot smokers and a guy who likes crossword puzzles to get the water girl back to the pool.

Me:  Um...you're losing me here.

Movie:  But wait!  There's a guy who only works out one side of his body so he has a huge arm and a huge leg and he's the guardian and as long as he stares at the grass-wolf-thing  it can't move and then the eagle comes and--

Me:  Ok, that's enough.

Movie:  But what about the Mexican sisters and the...the film critic gets eaten, and the--

Me:  I said that's enough.  Just stop it.


So, yeah.  I wouldn't recommend that movie to anyone.