Holy Food, Holy Quest

Question: what's the one flavor that makes (or would make, if you were daring enough to try those wilder ideas) any food better? Obviously, I refer to that holiest of holies: bacon. When salted, cured, and smoked to the peak of artery-clogging deliciousness, bacon has the potential to transform even the most mundane food into so much more. In short, bacon can turn a lesser food into a culinary experience.

Do I exaggerate? Certainly not. Name me a sandwich, a burger, a cheese fry that is not improved by bacon. Name me a grilled meat, be it chicken, pork, or shrimp, that is not brought closer to the Divine by wrapping it and/or stuffing it with bacon. You cannot name such a food, and indeed, to even try would be to blaspheme, for Most Revered Bacon sits at the head of the Holy Trinity of Food, with noble Bread at its left and mighty Cheese at its right.

My message today concerns the crusade of two brave young men who wish to spread the gospel of Most Revered Bacon with the flick of a wrist and the shake of a bottle. Brother Justin and Brother Dave are on a holy quest to "make everything taste like bacon." The miraculous product they've created to achieve this goal? Bacon Salt. I don't know what arcane rituals they had to perform in order to capture the essence of bacon in a bottle, but they seem to have done it. Visit their website. Read the testimony of other Bacon Disciples. And support this noble crusade by purchasing each of Bacon Salt's three flavors: Original, Hickory, and Peppered. I'm going to try it; won't you? Bacon can one day rule the world, if we all do our part.

[Update: I just ordered the 3-pack! Bacon!]