Ok, so
Transformers rocked. It was two and a half hours of smashy fun, and I'll tell you why.
We'll start with the most important reason: Optimus F'n Prime. The purists--"wankers," if you will--have been all up in arms about Optimus for months now, worried that Michael Bay would ruin their favorite freedom-loving philosopher/warrior robot, and generally getting pissed off that he doesn't look
exactly like he did in the cartoon (a look which someone out there in internet land has described as "a stack of dishwashers."). Well, despite the whole "Flames on Optimus! OMFG!" to-do, I think Bay and company did right by the Big Rig. He's still the same guy as he was before--well, not "guy," but you know--but maybe just a bit cooler. And he has a sense of humor now. One of the funniest lines in the movie is his "What's with you?" during a scene where Ironhide is getting overly anxious to shoot stuff. Ok, it doesn't sound that funny now, but in context, it's hilarious. This movie actually got quite a few laughs from the audience, and from me, and they weren't the forced laughs that Pirates 3 got. Oh, and one more thing on Optimus--they got the original voice, Peter Cullen. I'm not a raging Transformers lunatic (usually), but even I was excited to hear that voice.
The acting here was actually better than I expected, at least on the part of Shia LaBeouf. That kid's going places. No more Disney channel crap for him--now it's freaking Transformers and
Indy 4. He's got a kind of earnestness about him that makes you believe he's really carrying on a conversation with giant robots from space. Everyone else gave adequate performances, with the notable exception of John Turturro, who apparently wasn't told which movie he was being hired for. He acted like he was on a Mexican kids TV show, and I'm not even exaggerating. He could have been wearing the frickin' Mexican bee outfit from the Simpsons the entire time, and it wouldn't have been any worse. Luckily, the acting overall was merely a bruise on the movie, not a mortal wound.
The story, as expected, is largely irrelevant. It's not bad, but its main function is clearly as an excuse for cool cars and military vehicles to transform into giant robots that smash the hell out of each other. And holy crap does it look cool when they transform. Sometimes they'll switch back and forth four or five times in a matter of a few seconds. I could watch that all day and not get bored. If that makes me shallow, then so be it--at least I'm wading in Awesome.
So, why, with mostly crap acting and a story that's just ok, did I enjoy the experience so much? Well, first of all, in case you missed it: robots. That's the last time I'm going to say it. But second, and perhaps more importantly, the movie does exactly what it sets out to do: be a lot of fun. I am highly recommending this as a summer movie, and it'll definitely be at the top of my DVD wish list next year.
My rating: 9.2/10
IMDb rating: 8.3/10
